I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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