someone get that fucking seahorse.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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