I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
