What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
