Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
