using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
