"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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