i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
