im about as happy as oj after his trial
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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