You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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