I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
did i walk over a car last night?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
