OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
