i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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