She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
