So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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