Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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