Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
