Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
