dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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