She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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