my sisters under your porch take her home
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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