I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
