her vagine was all disorganized.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
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We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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