There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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