Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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