I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Buhtt sex?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
