Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
