Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize