I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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