im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
