Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
