before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
