You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize