I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Walk of Shame today included voting.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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