Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
