At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
