I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you will always have a special place in my vag
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The feeling are messing with the penis
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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