I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
