We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
