We won't sleep together?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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