mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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