ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
