the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
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I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Those nachos came to me in a dream
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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