I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
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