obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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