You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
