If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
