Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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