I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
