Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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