It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
why didn't you poke me back
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Randomize
