Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
