did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
