That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i think my mom watched the whole time
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
