I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
