I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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