More tranny stories later!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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