He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize