just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
