Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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