he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Drunk is not a location!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
